This recipe was supposed to be an onion. Okay, that doesn’t make sense on it’s own so let me explain.
Much like every other idea anyone has ever conceived, all of my creations start with a little inspiration and turn into something else. Sometimes they work, but other times…….not so much. Yeah, so if by some miracle you have ever gotten the impression that things are always sunshine and rainbows for me or that everything turns out perfect in my kitchen, then clearly you haven’t looked very closely at this blog. In fact, it’s usually a, (how do they say it in old movies?) oh yes, a shambles. Things are usually a shambles behind the scenes.
But as I was saying, this recipe was supposed to be an onion. A bloomin’ onion. You know, those really pretty and artistic looking onions they serve at Outback? Yes, well, I was going to make one to share with you guys, but instead, I just ended up making myself really cranky and running around the kitchen trying not to let everything and everyone in sight set me off. Not a pretty sight. I think I had my whole family wary of my wrath.
It was the combination of failure right after failure that did it. The first onion I did was working fine until I tried this tip I read that said to freeze the batter on it for a little while before frying it and then I forgot to thaw it out long enough. The center was basically a rock hard cube surrounded by a crispy onion facade. Then the second try I skipped the freezer and just fried it immediately and that worked…until it fell apart because apparently I cut it wrong. After that I made a third one but, although it was much closer, that one still wasn’t right because the pieces wouldn’t pull out and you just ended up yanking of the breading when you tried. Wah wah wah.
I finally gave up on this project and decided to just fry some cauliflower. I guess you could say it all worked out here because, guys, this cauliflower is kill-ing-it! I mean, of course it is, it’s fried and served with a dip that makes you totally forget you are eating any form of vegetation at all. So score one point for the cauliflower, but then guess what happened. It starts pouring down rain and the light disappears behind black rain clouds right when I was going to take pictures. Plus, I couldn’t seem to find a way to keep the finished thing from looking like a plate of fried cockroaches. This just wasn’t my day.
You may or may not think these look like fried cockroaches too, but I reached the point of being over it so think whatever you like. Also, I now have a vendetta against the bloomin’ onion an I intend to eventually conquer. I will figure out how to make a perfect specimen and when I do I will be back to
gloat share with you all.
So moral of this story; you should make this because, even if it looks like bugs, it was really good. The dip is similar to a fry sauce but even better with its spicy Cajun flair, and I made the mayo from scratch because the other day I decided that I really don’t want to use store-bought mayo anymore when I can make it at home. It’s so much better.
Okay, so after all of that you are going to make this right? If not, if you do think it looks like bugs, just nod your head and say yes to make me feel better, k? Cool beans. This concludes my ranting, stay tuned for said bloomin’ onion (it’s going to happen eventually).
- 1 medium head cauliflower
- 1 1/2 cups flour
- 2 teapoons cajun seasoning (or recipe follows)
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1 cup whole milk
- about one quart oil for frying (I prefer peanut or sunflower)
- 2 teaspoons salt
- 2 teaspoons garlic powder
- 2 teaspoons onion powder
- 2 teaspoons paprika
- 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
- 1 1/4 teaspoons dried oregano
- 1 1/4 teaspoons dried basil
- 4 bay leaves
- 1 large egg
- 1 tablespoon brown deli mustard
- 1 cup olive oil (or preferred oil)
- 1 clove garlic, minced
- 1 tablespoon worchestershire
- 1 tablespoon horseradish
- 1 tablespoon lemon juice
- 2 tablespoons ketchup
- 1 teaspoon celery salt
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon paprika
- 1/2 teaspoon parsley
- 1/2 teaspoon oregeno
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
- Mix the ingredients for the cajun seasoning, if using, in a small bowl and add 2 teaspoons to a medium bowl along with flour and salt; mix with a spoon. Pour milk into another medium sized bowl and chop cauliflower into florets.
- Line a plate with paper towels and heat about 4 inches of oil over medium heat in a large skillet or deep fryer to about 350 degrees F (175 C). Dip a few florets at a time in flour mix, then in milk, then again in the flour mix and place in oil.
- Fry on each side for about 2 minutes until golden then remove to prepared plate. Serve hot with remoulade dip.
- Wash eggshell well with soap and water before cracking. Combine egg, deli mustard, and 1/4 cup oil in a blender or food processor and blend for 1 minute. Now turn blender on lowest setting and slowly stream in the rest of the oil while running. Blend until the consistency of mayonnaise.
- Add remaining ingredients and pulse until smooth. Pour into a sealable container and refrigerate until ready to serve.